He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
