Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
