Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
