Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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