Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
