Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize