omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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