We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
