so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize