I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
