It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There's always time for handjobs
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
