I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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