I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
