Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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