I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize