I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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