Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
