She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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