My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
