You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
