omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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