you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
