what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
