chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
