You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
