i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
