I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
