I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize