I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
