he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize