return my video game
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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