dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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