Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
