Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
