Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Farmville is her only friend.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
