Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize