Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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