is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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