So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
