uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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