New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
