Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
