Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize