I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So drunk its hurt
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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