I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
