you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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