but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
