That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
