you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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