No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
two words: eviction party
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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