I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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