how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
