So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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