He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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