i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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