I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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