dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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