yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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