i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think people are normalizing furries
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
