I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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