He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize