Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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